Necromance Movies - Loving the Dead

Ok, so we love dead things sometimes.  We love Dracula and vampires, zombies, werewolves, mummies, ghosts, and Frankenstein, who used to be dead, but now isn't.  I am going to run down my top five favorite movies about those who actually are in love with something that is dead or used to be dead and now isn't and is sort of undead or sorta alive, well, you catch my drift...

1.  Dracula - There have been probably more movies, books, comics, and adaptations of Bram Stoker's Dracula novel and the characters on which it is based than of any other horror character(s) besides perhaps zombies than we can count.  There is almost always some chick that is in love with Dracula or some other vampire that represents him or shares some of his characteristics.  Sometimes he has power over the person to influence them to fall in love with him and sometimes he doesn't, but either way, I know he's my favorite!  The two major films that I am totally in love with that are adapted from Bram Stoker's original novel, Dracula, are Dracula (1979), starring Frank Langella as Dracula and 1992's Bram Stoker's Dracula, starring Gary Olman as Dracula.  Christopher Lee was my favorite Dracula, but that's another can of worms.  I am just making mention today of my two favorite Dracula films.

You can watch Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) on Crackle here for free with nothing to download or sign up for.  The NBC Dracula series with hot ass Jonathan Rhys Meyers is available on Hulu, too if you are interested here.  You can watch 'em free and you don't need Hulu plus to watch, currently.

2.  Frankenstein - Frankenstein is a horror classic that has been adapted probably almost as many times as Dracula and has so many spins that can be taken on what it is based, its not even funny.  The Bride of Frankenstein is also a central theme in many of the films from the 1935 version of The Bride of Frankenstein to 1992's version of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which also adds Frankenstein's reanimated bride, which he loses when the creature kills her and makes him recreate her as his own with Frankenstein's beloved best galpal's heart added to the reanimated she creature, which was once his bride, Elizabeth.  1992's Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is my favorite Frankenstein film ever made to date! 

 

You can watch Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1992), which stars Robert DeNiro, Kenneth Branaugh, and Helena Bonham Carter for free on Crackle here.  I bet you have no idea how much I am grateful that the year 1992 happened in classic horror film and book adaptations, none at all!

3.  Boy Eats Girl (2005) - Let's see, when you mix two of my favorite things, Irishmen (my favorite flavor of man--that makes me want a hot dog real bad...correct my English and I slap you, that was a movie quote a-holes--where is your sense of humor!???  I digress???) and Zombies, you get one of my favorite zombie flicks I have seen to date, Boy Eats Girl, which is a horror comedy about a girl, Jessica and her friend-zone "special friend", Nathan, who attempts suicide when Jessica stands him up by accident on the night he is to declare his love for her.  He sees her getting a ride home in the rain from a particularly douchy boy he goes to school with that picks on him.  He thinks they are doing sexy-time stuff when really, she is just reaching down to get something as she gets out of his car and decides to walk home, because he's perving on her.  Nathan hangs himself and his mom performs a ritual and turns him into a zombie.  Henceforward, all zombie hell breaks loose in their little regular Irish town.  It used to be available to watch for free on Hulu and Veoh, but now its only available on Hulu Plus and Netflix (DVD only).  You can watch it on Redbox Instant by Verizon, though.

4. Haekel's Tale (Masters of Horror Season 1 Episode 12 ) & Dead Alive (1992) - Haekel's Tale was a short story written by Clive Barker, this one hour short film, which was featured on the popular series features two stories in one about magical necromancy and medical resurrection as well as some literal loving of the dead.  I guess you would call them zombies, but I don't know that they are even that lively and one sure doesn't eat brains.  He likes getting jiggy, though.  I can't really say much more without spoiling it, but I guess the ultimate expression of love for the dead would be procreating with a creature once loved in life and still loved in death that is no longer alive.

 

Dead Alive (Braindead) (1992) - of course was a popular cult film made in New Zealand, which surrounds the circumstances created when Lionel's overbearing mother was bitten by an infected zombie monkey thing at the zoo, while trying to ruin Lionel's date with Paquita, his new love interest.  There is some love of the dead between two dead subjects that procreate and make a cute little zombie baby.

You can watch Haekel's Tale on Hulu for free here.

5.  Aftermath (1994), Dead Girl (2008) & Kissed (1996) - are two equally sick films.  Aftermath is sick in the fact that its just disturbing, even though there are barely words spoken throughout the entire short.  Its only a half an hour long, but defiling a corpse in the most intimate of ways is pretty creepy, especially while you are autopsying it in an actual medical environment and it is your job.  Kissed is unnerving in the fact that the main character actually falls in love with the handsome, young, and dead men she works on at the funeral parlor, where she secured employment for the purpose of meeting dead guys to love.  Dead Girl is pretty messed up in the fact that the chick is sort of a zombie thing bound and tied up 24/7 in an asylum, unable to die.  I'm not really sure what she is, but she is still conscious, though undead, and "loved" against her will by force.  I guess Kissed is the lighter of the three and maybe a little nicer, but they are both pretty messed up!

Summer Horror Chiller Watch List

Like some kids get a summer reading list, I am going to assign all of my horror blog readers who trust my judgement in horror and thriller movie tastes to watch these classic and contemporary horror films if you haven't seen them, because they are mandatory, well at least in my book they are!

This is like when your high school teacher made you read Catcher in the Rye or The Badge of Red Courage and you did it, because you had a book report on it. I am doing this for your own good, not because I will be testing and grading you on it, weirdos. These will enrich your nightmares.

1. Re-animator (1985) - Based on H. P. Lovecraft's Herbert West–Reanimator and directed by Stuart Gordon, this is the first installment in the Re-Animator series. This masterpiece is gory, terrifying, and most of all, pretty funny.

2. Rosemary's Baby (1968) - Mainly a psychological horror film, this film was written and directed by Roman Polanski. The film is based on Ira Levin's 1967 novel, Rosemary's Baby. The film's star-studded cast includes Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes, and Ruth Gordon.

Mia Farrow plays a pregnant mother who has a sneaking suspicion that her husband has made an agreement with a creepy and eccentric elderly neighbor couple that their child can be used as a sacrifice to Satan in exchange for his success as an actor.

(ROSEMARY'S BABY) (1968) trailer by myfilm-gr

Zoe Saldana Says NBC 'Rosemary's Baby' Is Not A Remake by thesevensees

You can watch Rosemary's baby for free by clicking here. 

3. The Sentinel (1977) - Starring Cristina Raines, Chris Sarandon, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Sylvia Miles, and Eli Wallach and featuring Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, John Carradine, Jerry Orbach, Tom Berenger, and Beverly D'Angelo, this classic chiller focuses on a model who moves into a Brooklyn brownstone apartment complex steeped in history, only to find that its proprietors are excommunicated Catholic priests, and the building is a gateway to hell.

You can watch The Sentinel free here.

The Sentinel by Céline Roulier


4. Hannibal Rising -  Based on a novel written by Thomas Harris, published in 2006, this horror thriller is a prequel to his three previous books featuring the serial killer Dr. Hannibal Lecter, who consumes his victims. It is Harris' fifth and, as of 2014, most recent novel. The novel was adapted by Harris himself into a film in 2007.

In the film, Hannibal is an 8 year-old boy, who resides at Lecter Castle in Lithuania, when Operation Barbarossa, Hitler's invasion of the Soviet Union, turns the Baltic region into a part of the bloodiest front line of World War II. Lecter, his little sister Mischa, and his parents escape to the family's vacation house in the countryside to avoid German troops.  Hannibal's whole world continues to come crashing down as he loses his family and becomes an orphan.  These are the origins of the boy, who became a monster.

You can watch Hannibal Rising free here.

HANNIBAL RISING - OFFICIAL MOVIE TRAILER 2007 - by AllStars101

 
5. Dead Alive (Braindead) - This 1992 New Zealand zombie horror comedy gore film was a commercial failure at the time of its release, but subsequently scored a cult fan following after its director, Peter Jackson, directed the notable Lord of the Rings trilogy.  The film is widely considered to be one of the goriest films ever made and is enormously entertaining on every level.

I am just giving you five so its not that hard and you can watch them free online (I have provided links or embedded players, mo fos!). Therefore, you have no excuse, guys and dolls!

Three Hysterical Horror Movie Scenes

In no necessary order, these horror scenes have continued to entertain me for as long as it has been since I viewed them.  I share these with you guys for you to enjoy as I have!

Dead Alive - Zombie Baby

The Zombie Baby laughing is adorable and to think of a baby attacking you and you having to fight back at it kills me.  Baby's end is pretty stellar, too.  I think its cute!  He looks like Chunk's son!  Baby Ruth???  That is one happy little f*cker!

 Return of the Living Dead - Talking Half Corpse - It Hurts to Be Dead!

Ernie the undertaker asks the talking half corpse on the gurney why Zombies eat people and gets a reply.  "Not people, brains.", to which Ernie's reply is, "Why"?  Again, Ernie gets a reply, "The pain, the pain of being dead."  Just watch it.  She tells Ernie why, okay!!!!  

Trilogy of Terror - The Zuni Fetish Doll

I don't know why, but this has struck me funny as well as my little brother since were were really little! Ok, I do know why, because its freakin' funny! He used to call it the movie with the Woo Woo Doll in it.

 

My Five B Horror Favorite Picks

WARNING SPOILERS - 

IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THESE AND WANT TO, DON'T READ THIS!

In no necessary order....

Dead Alive is my number one pick. Lionel meets Paquita at the local package store. Its love at first sight. She digs this dork. He digs her. His overbearing mother follows them on their first date, because she's a psycho. She gets bitten by the Sumerian Zombie Monkey at the zoo and her wound begins to puss. Lionel realizes something is not right when Mum's skin falls off and Lionel has to glue it on when guests come to dinner.

Mum's ear falls off in her soup as she slurs her speech like she has palsy. She proceeds to consume it and her puss ends up in the soup. Her dinner guest eats it as we all take in the glory that is this "B" horror masterpiece. Mum eats everyone that comes into her path save Paquita and her greedy brother, who wishes to own her property and riches.

Uncle D*ckface Pervert discovers Mum is dead after Lionel locks her up in the basement and injects her with animal sedatives to control her "killer" appetite. She gets a nurse who comes to bring her to the hospital to cure her of her ails and a couple of others.

 A zombie romance begins between the nurse and another. An adorable baby Zombie is spawned. He's cute, see!!!

Anyway, it all ends in a blood spattered finale when Lionel gets out his rotary mower and chops all the zombies to bits and he takes care of that pesky over-sized Mum, too! Paquita and Lionel are free to love and free of Mum and Uncle Pervert.  
 

Don't Look in the Basement (1973), sometimes referred to as "The Forgotten" is set in St. Stephens Sanitarium, a remote residential mental hospital headed up by Dr. Stephens. He lets the patients carry on with their illnesses, hoping that one day they will just become miraculously become sane on their own. The head nurse, who is old and can't take it anymore tries to retire. She tells Dr. Stephens know she is not going to be returning. Judge, who used to actually be a judge is chopping wood and it ends up in the back of Dr. Stephens. He's presumed dead, of course.

Harriet, who owns a plastic doll and believes it is real kills the old nurse before she can leave, because she thinks she stole her baby. She squishes her head in her suitcase while she is finishing up her packing for her departure. Dr. Geraldine Masters is the only doctor remaining.

The new nurse Dr. Stephens hired before his demise arrives. Charlotte Beale, a young woman, who will be accepting the new nursing position is acquainted with the patients, who include the lobotomized Sam, who has the mental capacity of a child. There is also a nympho who saves the telephone repair man's dead body so she can have her way with his carcass postmortem, although she didn't kill him. Mrs. Callingham is just a creepy rambler who makes zero sense.

Dr. Masters becomes disturbed when a telephone man comes to investigate the faulty phone system at the institution. Mrs. Callingham's tongue is ripped out of her mouth during her sleep, although Masters tells Charlotte that the injury was self-inflicted. Dr. Masters does some creepy things to punish residents and we all realize, she's a patient. Charlotte also realizes Dr. Masters isn't really a doctor. Mrs. Callingham finds a way to communicate that Masters cut out her tongue so she can't tell about Dr. Masters.

Charlotte finds the telephone man (postmortem) hanging out in the kitchen closet. Nurse Charlotte figures out what is going on and that Masters is a patient, thanks to Judge. The residents think Charlotte is a patient, too. Charlotte finds Dr. Stephens hiding in the basement and kills him by mistake, not realizing his identity. The inmates corner Dr. Masters and Judge Cameron axes her to death.

Watch it here if you haven't already since I just spoiled it for you. 

The Evil Dead, which of course, stars Ash (Bruce Campbell), who takes a trip into the woods with some friends in an isolated cabin. The cabin contains the Sumerian Book of the Dead. The book's accompanying tape is played the contains incantations from the book which releases demons.

Ash's gal, Cheryl, who goes outside to check out the noise gets rap'd by the forest's trees. Damn, the splinters!!!  Get out the tweezers!  They get their grove on with the ol' gal and when Ash tries to drive her to safety, he finds that the lone bridge that takes them out of the woods is no longer, uh oh! Cheryl and then pretty much everyone else becomes possessed one by one. There is a part two and this is foreshadowed when all doesn't really end well, well...at the end.  

2001 Maniacs (Lionsgate) has the best soundtrack ever! I wish the ZZ Top looking guys would come and sing songs whenever I do things. I wouldn't ever silence them! Its like when Peter from Family Guy decided to wish for theme music that time and his wish was granted, but way cooler!

I love to poke fun at the south and this movie does just that with the overly-friendly-to-the-point- that-its-creepy help of Mayor George W. Buckman, who is portrayed with none other than Robert Englund, who of course nailed the role of Freddy Kreuger in Nightmare on Elm Street and welcomes the detouring college students who took the wrong wrote to Daytona Beach for Spring Break to the annual Guts and Glory Jubilee (a mouth watering barbeque in honor of the Civil War) in their quaint and historically untouched town of the very eerily welcoming Pleasantville, Georgia.

Rest assured, there will be lots of guts. I don't know about glory, though. It was pretty glorious watching a girl be "quartered" by the town's heartthrob. The town houses residents, Hucklebilly, a young man who behaves like a child and "loves" the farm animals as often as necessary, if ya catch my drift as well as the lovely, Peaches, the town's sexpot turns into a sharp toothed succubus thing and eats Cory. Two of the towns residents are sexy blonde cousins who are, let's say overly affectionate with one another.

The armadillo that splats on their windshield on the way and the creepy stares and snickers of the hillbillies on the way when the party of students discusses taking a shortcut makes for killer foreshadowing of the cannibalism that will shortly ensue. This future classic "B" film is a remake of the 1964 film Two Thousand Maniacs, a Herschell Gordon Lewis film.   

Check out the trailer here if you haven't seen it and since I already ruined it for you, you mine as well, lol!

Trilogy of Terror (1975) is a true made for ABC TV classic, featuring the recently late Karen Black, who takes on four, if you count the twins as two, distinct roles in this short story film diverse film characters in the horror trilogy.

The Zuni Fetish Doll in "Amelia" is the best thing I have ever seen EVER! It has a miniature knife and relentlessly pursues Amelia, who is of course, portrayed by the ever great and recently late Karen Black until she meets her demise and turns into the Zuni Fetish Doll itself with its sharp, awesome, little angry teeth. It kind of reminds me of Monkey Shines if it were the spirit of a Zuni Warrior instead. Its got all the persistence of the Monkey Shines monkey, that's for sure!

"Julie", appears shy and innocent. She is drugged and date rap'd by a pervy college student with whom she is forced to carrying on a secret affair, thereafter in a blackmail ploy. He wondered what she looked like "under all of those clothes". She wins! It was all a ploy to poison and kill this scumbag loser. One point for Professor Julie. Karen Black didn't even want to do it until Richard Burton, who was her husband signed on as the pervy student.
 
Millecent and Therese, the twins who were really the multiple personalities of one women were classic. The saucy blonde, Therese, used witchcraft against Millicent, the dowdy Debbie Downer and of course ends up screwing herself over, because, NEWS FLASH, she's both of them. Its very clever if you haven't seen it. I suggest it!!! I'll post the link.

HERE IT IS! 

WATCH IT FREE.

5 Horror Flix to Watch This Week on Netflix!

Dead Alive - If you like gore that will make you chuckle, this is a good pick. Mom gets bitten by an infected monkey rat thingee, and all hell breaks loose in 1950's New Zealand. I love it!

Isn't he beautiful?



Masters of Horror's Dance of the Dead - Enjoy post apocalyptic America when a good girl meets a bad boy. He's dirty, he's high, and he's got some crazy junk going on. She follows him into the city and finds the dead dancing at a club owned by a character played by none other than Robert Englund aka Mr. Freddy Kreuger, whoo hoo!

I dig the hair! And, surprise, you can watch this one here!



Blood Creek - Other than the fact that Henry Cavill makes me wet my britches, I've got to say this flick was both disturbing and terrifying. Necromancy and Nazi experiments in unison scares the crap out of me, and pretty much all others.

God, thank you for creating this creature, I totally appreciate it. I want to bear his seed like every night forever!



Vampyres - Lesbian bloodsucking vampires at their best. These chicks are gory, and they lure dudes in by seducing them. Well, at least these guys get some before they get torn apart and eaten!

Yuck, having to date guys to get sustenance forever, that sure sucks, no pun intended!



The Hunger - I swear to God, I just want to rip off all David Bowie's clothes in this eighties vampire flick. It really is well done. Its not cheesy, and its got a sort of medical element to it, too. The whole eighties goth/industrial scene is thrown in with upper class vampires, awesome! Oh, and if you want to watch Susan Sarandon get all bisexual, you totally can, because she has a love scene with a chick in this.

He's almost as hot as Jareth from Labyrinth in this flick, but I'm not sure if anything compares to those tight grey spandex and his fabulous Axl Rose hair.