Wicked Horrible Things Terrifying Wishlist

I want lots of things.  I don't get lots of things, but I am going to tell you about the things that I want that are wicked horrible.  These are tangible goods.  I already have a things that bring misery to my life.  These horrible things would bring me tremendous joy during this dark, miserable holiday season.

1.  Tales From The Crypt Seasons 1-7 - I effing love this show.  This would give me something to do other than dwelling on misery and watching serial killer shows.  I would enjoy watching this in my comfy bed from the comfort of my bedroom where I don't have to talk to anyone or interact with any humans.

Someone recently referred to me as the same miserable gothic b*tch I was in high school.  He would be correct.  I sure as fuzuck am!

2.  This...I hate people and it conveniently glows in the dark so I don't have to get up or move.

3.  A Roku gives me further reason to sit in my room alone and not deal with other humans.  It also gives me something to fall asleep to when I am not paying attention.  Winter go away!  Welcome to seasonal depression, my oldest friend.

4.  I can read H.P. Lovecraft and pass out after 30 seconds.  I wouldn't enjoy it, because I would never get to read the end of the story.  Narcolepsy sucks.

5.  Flask tampons - I can hide my booze and plug it up all in one shot.  It will keep my drinks a warm 98 degrees in the New England frost.  My holiday egg nog will be complete and I won't really have to get up and move.  I can just watch my Roku and read H.P. Lovecraft.

6. This is a reflection of what I feel within to match my equally miserable outsides.