r Wicked Things Horror Blog: Vampire Characters That Are Actually Scary

Monday, December 30, 2013

Vampire Characters That Are Actually Scary

Ok, so Dracula is not that scary. He is kind of a man-slut and just found the right woman after centuries sort of like a way cooler, less sinister and more sophisticated Edward Cullen.

Louie and even Lestadt from Interview With a Vampire, um, not scary. Louie doesn't like eating people and Lestadt is sexy to chicks and dudes so at least you get to get your groove on with a hot stud before he drains every last drop of blood. He will have the decency to go downtown even if he is bleeding you dry. He's also very witty and charming.  The guy has charisma, what can I say?

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Vampires are pretty lame. Come on, one of them is Pee Wee Herman. The Lost Boys, at least they were 80's eye candy. Again, just hungry teenagers like Edward Cullen, who is really 80 and just pretends to be a teenager.

The vampires in most movies are just searching for food and they are hungry so they have to eat. They are not really "evil". I'm going to rundown a list of vampires that are actually scary and scare the boobs directly off my body.

1. Every single vampire especially the leader guy in 30 Days of Night - the original one, the movie, not the series. These guys speak a creepy language none of us have ever heard. Its barely even human. They are so very inhuman that its scary. They can't even pretend to be human, but they look very much like us and used to be us. They have wicked sharp teeth and their eyes are black. They are like "demonpires". They don't seem to clean up very well either. They are wicked fast and suck blood and don't even wipe their dirty little inhuman mouths. They make weird man-beast noises, too, and its effing creepy. Their fans are not pearly white (kinda black, actually), and they have misshapen heads, too. Fawk are these guys not sparkly!

Look, the leader has the same jacket as David from the Lost Boys!  Do all vampire leaders shop at the same outerwear retailer?

2. Akasha - from Queen of the Damned. She is like the "Eve" of all vampires, the mother of them all. That bizznatch is mofawking evil. She will tear your head off and suck out your eyeballs and you will be fine with it, because she is wicked hot. She hates and will kill all humans as she sees them as truly inferior, ever single one. She doesn't even care if its a newborn baby. Akasha will even kill other vampires for sustenance or if they just get in her way, which is, of course, a definitely unspoken no-no in the vampire code rule book.

3. Lucy & Dracula's Gypsy Servants in the Castle -  from Bram Stoker's Dracula as well as the gypsy servants in the pit.  Eating babies is something every vampire tries to steer clear from as well as really little kids.  Lucy tries to eat a toddler and Dracula's gypsies are served a newborn for dinner before Jonathan Harker's horrified eyes.


  1. Very much agreed on that. The vampires of 30 Days are definite predators and are scary as shit. I would also mention Barlow from Salem's Lot (The Tobe Hooper one). He is scary as crap. The same with Radu from Subspecies.

  2. Yup, they are both pretty scary. Barlow looks like the Nosferatu character, Count Orloff, who is also pretty scary. It was very early in the wee hours when I posted this. I guess my mind wasn't totally cranking yet, lol! Radu is pretty dead looking and gross, too. I wouldn't want to meet up with either in a dark alley!

  3. <3 this! I love 30 Days of night because the vampires are so badass (and I read the comics)!

    1. They freak me out. They are truly not human. I love their creepy language, too!


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