r Wicked Things Horror Blog: 10 Telltale Signs You Know They Are a Serial Killer

Sunday, July 21, 2013

10 Telltale Signs You Know They Are a Serial Killer

  1. Number one, of course, would be if they have participated in the Boy Scouts for a long time and have overstayed their welcome. 
  2. They have a r*pe/murder kit in their trunk.  Nobody who isn't a cop should own fisticuffs.
  3. They have a dead cat gallery instead of a clothes line in their back yard or basement.  You may also want to check for human body parts if they are interested in gourmet cooking.
  4. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend want you to play dead during copulation?  Yeah, they might be a serial killer.  Refer to number 2 and check their trunk for their kit.
  5. If your friend, neighbor, lover, or acquaintance makes lamps out of fresh "animal" skin (humans are animals, too), or has a hobby crafting jewelry or pottery yet does not own a loom and never visits the pet store, because they are too busy loving themselves to old lady p*rn at home while they hallucinate biblical scriptures being touted by their long dead mother, you may have a serial killer on your hands.
  6. They are alone, lifting a couch or another object into a large, dark, perhaps even unregistered van with a broken limb and they need a woman to help them lift it.  Its sorta like when a peed needs the help of a small boy or girl to find their "lost puppy".  
  7. Their only friends are drug addicted hookers and junkies who live in a back alley and perform golden sh*wers for pennies on the dollar and you see them with a new friend of this background weekly.
  8. When your friend's elderly father asks you to come over for dinner and the meat tastes funny and then he asks you and the other dinner guests to beat him with a nail studded paddle.
  9. He snuggles with his mannequin instead of a live kitten or teddy bear or significant other at night when he is feeling frisky.
  10. They work on a pig farm and rarely ever have visitors or help staff that ever leave.  Not only that, but they burn all their trash and you will find crusty, rusted meat hooks in their barn, sexy!

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