r Wicked Things Horror Blog: Top 5 Best Movie Stalkers!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Top 5 Best Movie Stalkers!

David McCall (Fear, 1996) - Mark Wahlberg

David McCall is every father's worst nightmare.  Nicole meets the boy of her dreams.  He is everything she has ever hoped for until he kicks the crap out of her best male friend, gives her a black eye, and bangs her best friend.  He is a truly disturbed juvenile delinquent.  Indeed, David is probably the most realistically creepy teen movie psycho!

Alex Forrest (Fatal Attraction, 1987) - Glenn Close

Glenn sure is a handsome woman and even makes a great psycho!  She loves you and you love her.  If she can't have you than noone can!  Alex will even go as far as to boil your pet.  If that's not dedication, I don't know what is!

Hedra Carlson (Single White Female, 1984) - Jennifer Jason Leigh

Ever think you found your best friend in your new roommate, but then she gets your haircut and pretends she's you and bangs your boyfriend?  Don't you hate it when she throws your dog out the window, because you want her to move out so you can get back with your cheating ex that was the segway for your alliance as roommates anyway?    Well, hey, at least Heddie was looking out for Allison when a client, who I thought was a blatant homosexual, tries to force himself on her, and when her aye-hole of an ex tries to move back in after banging his ex wife.  You just never know about these things.  I love you and you love me!  I thought we were going to be effing besties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@@@#$@#$@#@$#@#$#

Robert Pattinson (Twilight, 2008) - Edward Cullen

Not that I wouldn't want Rob as my stalker, because that'd be fine with me, but something about a blood thirsty seventeen year old who's really a creepy eighty year old man staring at me while I sleep, but not wanting to do anything but drink my blood never sat right with me.  He's there when I get hit by a car, when guys try to follow me with bad intentions, but he never eats, and never goes to school when the sun is out.  Then he corners me in the woods and tells me he's a killer and flies through the air like David Bowie falling through the ceiling in that speaker commercial, that also is just sick and wrong, but hey, when I was Bella Swan's age, I would have let him hit that, too.  Who can blame her.  Long live my elderly stalker who's still in high school!

Christian Slater (Untamed Heart, 1993) - Adam

Everyone thinks he's retarded.  He chooses not to speak and thinks he has a baboon heart.  He follows me home when I am about to get gang rapiered.  I like that word, rapiered.  I say it when youngings are around so they think its a mean French person who just wants to punch me in the face, or maybe they took me on a shopping spree and spent too much on my Visa, who knows.  Rapiered....Anyway, he dies and leaves her creepy records, because he knew he was going to die.  He watches her sleep without her knowing he's in her room and follows her home from work and never utters a single word for years.  Creep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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